married?

Married men: why are some women infatuated with them?
definition: historically, a mistress was also known as a kept woman,who was maintained in a comfortable or even lavish lifestyle by a wealthy man SO THAT SHE WOULD BE AVAILABLE FOR HIS SEXUAL PLEASURE!!!
but what about the women who choose to pursue only married men?
Is there a infatuation with these men?
is it the fact that he can settle down with one woman? that he is stable? but this woman hopes that he would choose her if things at home go bad?
or is it just that they love thrill of the chase?
lets look deeper:
alot of these women are younger, they dont know what they want and in the case of this married man sometimes its the allure of a father figure.
its the notion that hes "taking care of her".
A n d that she feels secure but in reality shes only there for his pleasure and ego.
Not all of these women are younger alot of them are older and they have a whole different set of issues:
not feeling loved(in their past or current relationships), failed relationships,
not knowing their worth (in terms of how you are perceived by these men)
im not falling for the gold-digger status many of these women come attached with but rather the low self-esteem issues whereas these women get a boost from these men saying that their wonderful and that their gonna leave their wives for them but, which almost never happens.
And then theres the cougars!!!
these women are desperate for a man..any man.
married, single, divorced,as long as hes breathing.
they may be widows themselves and dont want the inconvience of taking on another husband but will gladly take someone elses.
last but not least, the women who just dont care.
they have no deeper issue,
they love themselves and care for this man even if he isnt hers.
she does not care about your kids together, she doesnt care about your baby thats on the way, she DOES NOT CARE!!!
And will tell you in a heartbeat you shouldve been taking care of him or she wouldnt have to.
(what a BITCH!!! RIGHT??)
What do women like me and you do??
unfortunately, nothing.
we can threaten,fight, stalk, and in most cases leave our husbands but the decision to quit this behavior lies within our man..
And we all know if left up to them theyll do it as long as you dont find out.
Ladies, stick to your guns!! and if you find him cheating , no matter how much he apologizes hes still a liar and remember if you didnt catch him would he have told you???
as far as she goes:shes a loser and dont waste your time asking her questions( we cant resist!!!)
Or wanting to see what she says he said and all that other bull that doesnt matter....
your better than that and better than her.

beauty

i was recently going through a blog that featured many artworks by this innovative artist kara walker.....what is your definiton of the picture?? what do you see? and how it relates to black women of today?










I was both intrigued and moved by this particular piece, and what it actually means to be a black woman in America.
As a black woman in America, we tend to always feel as thought we are competing with other races... we want to hold up to someone elses standard of beauty..are we as black women trying to live up to this misconception that we all have to look white or possess some caucasion features to be deemed beautiful?
what about the black girls who don blonde hair and contacts??
the long weave? or are we just holding up our own feelings of inadequetcy, in this lighter than a paper bag rule in our own communities?
is it because our black men arent even dating us anymore they want something a bit more exotic??
i remember when black women were considered exotic, beautiful, and strong.
now in the media, weve been reduced to big butt video chicks, and baby mamas.
family structure is out the window and so are a lot of our morals and values with it.
what can we do? what should we do?

letting it go......

theres the inevitable question when we see one of our friends with a guy that treats her crappy....why is she still with him???
and we get the inevitable answer: i love him and i cant let him go.
lets examine this for a moment.
him: treats her like crap and cheats and maybe even hits her.
her:has children with him, first love, every excuse in the book why shes still with him
you:wtf?!!!
for some women its a self-esteem issue, for some its just stupidity..
how can you save her?
you cant.
shes bound to this loser until she sees that hes no good for her and that she deserves better than that..
to be fair lets discuss men who are in this type of relationship:
him:low self-esteem, doesnt feel like he can get anyone else(see a pattern?)
older cat who just aint pulling the ladies anymore,lonely(remember loneliness makes us pick up strange bedfellows),children(baby mama)
her:cheats, takes the car to pick up other men, stays out till ....(whenever)
has a private phone,tells him her liasons are cousins or related in some way, has lots of male friends out of the blue,hes home babysitting while she runs the street
you:wtf?!!
how can you help?
you cant!
hes one of those men thats handsome, sweet,will do anything for the woman hes with but..he chooses to be with this loser who doesnt know what she wants but likes the fact that she has him wrapped around her little finger.
why is it so hard to see that this person is a loser?
that youve become prisoner to his/her actions and that theres hope for someone like you caught in this doomed relationship?
and by the time you get to the grass on the other side your too old to jump the fence?
in most cases is it the money?
is it the children?
or are you just that much of a loser yourself that you cant see how others are treating you?
at any rate:heres my advice:
lifes too short to put yourself on hold for someone and their issues...and when your life flashes before your eyes make sure its worth watching!!!

cookout.....

ok my sister just called me and asked if i wanted to go to my sister in laws cookout...
i dont wanna!!!!
(dont you hate being dragged somewhere you really dont wanna go?)
not that i dont like her, its just that her man tried to hit on me a few years ago and he told her brother my sisters husband that i hit on him.
SO NOT TRUE!
i just dont want to be around him and its a family thing and i would look guilty if i didnt go...(she doesnt know anything)
but i dont want to be in a situation where she does find out and feels like i kept it from her..what s a girl to do??
i cant take my baby with me cause he has to work, so im doing this one alone...
i guess i can be cordial and tell him frankly that im not interested(if it happens again) and ???and?? should i tell or handle mine? HELP!!!!

my baby

my baby is getting on my nerves!!!!!

my baby has no idea about women!!! real women...i have to tell him what women like (not sexually, no prob there)......compliments, hugs, kisses and when were fishing for comments from them ...when we want to be told we look nice or that were desirable to them but, my poor baby has been in relationships with women who;s only concern was what he can do for them and im not like that...i want him to do whatever he needs to do for himself and ill be ok, he just doesnt get it sometimes, he spoils me and thinks that takes up for whats lacking (to me ) emotionally.

dont get it twisted followers, i love to get spoiled but i want a kiss sometimes for no reason and a compliment when im looking official...officially sexy.

what can i do??? i love him alot but when do the compliments get less and less?

are you around each other too much?

should i get a pole in the basement?

idk, any suggestions would be appreciated!!!