Friday, July 17, 2009
REALLY??
why do women feel reluctant about making friends with other women, but have no problem opening up and sharing with a man they've just met?
is the sisterhood dead?????
I can understand the trust factor, but in the case of the woman who's trying to establish this new friendship isnt she just putting herself out there and possibly setting herself up for rejection??
and what about the woman whos being pursued as the new friend? She doesn't know what to expect either(single white female, hand that rocks the cradle,remember those chicks???)
but when you have two women who meet and have some things in common,WHERE'S THE PROBLEM???
Popular opinion is that women are used to their already established friends....
we've been through the crisis, the tears, the make-ups, the break-up together and getting a new girlfriend for some is just a time consuming waste of time.
Alot of us arent open to new friends, but in my case i only have three friends and im open to meet new people and expand my friend circle.,but its hard.
You never know if you're offending this person,if your too hood, too eager, too pushy and in most cases too nice.
so what do we do????
My only advice to women out there looking to make new friends,be yourself.
And if that doesnt work let your new friends come to you..if your a great person like me ...they will come.
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i know exactly what you mean. i had difficulities finding my circle of friends when i moved to a new city. it's hard to find like minded women...
ReplyDeletethanks for your input....one question my friends asks me is: do men have this problem too??? i guess i have to investigate.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard to make new friends. I've bee living out in BK for a few years now and still haven't made a true friend.
ReplyDeletePart of my problem is trust. I'm not comfortable letting someone new into my life without really knowing them for a while.
I see!!! LOL
ReplyDeletehmmmm... its funny you directed me to this blog, cause Nina and I were JUST talking about this!!!
ReplyDeleteShe has a hard time making friends with women. She can befriend a billion dudes...and feel fine. Her reasoning is that women are too complicated and judgemental.
I on the other hand have MANY female friends and a handful of guys friends. I looooove to meet me new people. And I love even more when we discover how much we have in common. It drives me nuts if I meet a woman who doesnt crack a smile and fall into "Kelly world"...everyone loves me...=/
When that happens I go out of my waaaaay to figure it out. Luckily I have been blessed with GREAT perception. I can usually GET the issue after 1 or 2 convos. Then I tap into the parts of me that she will relate to. Thank god im a multi faceted person. Being one dimensional is deffff a hindrance on making friends. What worked for one friend may not work for another. Not every GF like gossip, or shopping therapy, or male bashing... each friend is dif. Women are just getting too lazy to make new friends. point blank.
Don't get me wrong. I have my *AF* girls which are my beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssstttt friends. Scratch that...they're my sisters. But outside of them i have my friends...they have theyre friends...but because we're all so close our frends are now shared. One of my co-worker friends talks to both Nina and Kiyyah regularly. *shrugs* doesnt mean she's in the "circle" ...but she's embraced.
Most people don't like change. And with making new friends...you change a little bit. Yes...you are yourself...but NEW friends high light new things (hopefully good) and you change just a little whether you want to or not!
I think thats all I gt for ya hun! :)
-Kelly of *AF*
www.theafgirls.com
Thanks. I wanted a different perspective fro someone who has three bf's....scratch that (sisters)lol. Great answer!!!!
ReplyDeleteI think the thing with males is that they are not into drama whereas females are. Hence why some females say they prefer to keep male friends only. I have male friends and they are fun to be around as they tend to have great sense of humours and less judgemental.
ReplyDeleteHowever I dont always feel I can be entirely honest with my thoughts and feelings like I can with another female.
But in my experience females like to chat about you and the personal things you have told them will get spread around. A friend I thought was cool has been doing this, and looking back in hindsight I thought she was a true friend but she isnt. I have since decided to distance myself from her and only tell her limited info! If she can chat her so called best friends business then she will chat mine too!